Forgotten?
by JillianForDays
Summary: Yang's several diary entries based on a series of unhappy events that span within a few months. My first attempt at angst so this isn't terribly long. Concept may expand into a more developed story if I feel up to it. [Bumblebee One-Shot]


I posted this on my Tumblr page and it got good responses so I wanted to share it with you lot! This is my first attempt at angsty stuff so I hope you enjoy! Drop a favorite and a review if you think I should take the concept and make it into its own story!

Also would like to note that each "entry" begins with a new paragraph :)

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><p>It's been a year since we've worked together. It's been a year since we've last seen each other. It's been a year since we've last spoken, and then I see you: Ears no longer hidden by black fabric, amber eyes no longer painted with sadness. You hold his hand so confidently, so happily, just like you used to with me.<p>

I remember when you sat there crying, begging me to go. I didn't do anything; he fed you lies. I told you that I loved you, and that nothing would ever happen between me and Neptune, but you didn't believe me. You didn't believe my love, my words, my cries. With the makeup running down your face and my heart in your hand, you ran.

Ruby is still by my side, and Weiss is still by hers. They are in love Blake, did you know that? All the bickering and all the hate, but the dorks ended up together. I'm happy for them. I'm not happy for me.

I see you with him today, hair cascading down beautifully in a shadow like grace. His blonde hair is duller than mine, but you love running your hands through it. You used to do that with me. I want you to do that again.

He tricked you, my love. He got you when you were worried. He manipulated you, he played you, yet you still fall victim to his scandalous crimes.

I had the courage to smile at you today, a weak one, but still a smile. My heart nearly shattered when you turned away without replicating the stunning action. I miss your smile.

Sun spoke to me today, called me a fool and a loser. He laughed in my face and spit on my boots, saying that you were his now. I wish those were lies, I wish they really were. But I know now that he is right. You're not mine.

I chased you, I really did. I went out of my way more times than I can count to help you, just never directly. Weiss helped you with your car with everything she learned from me. I forced her to learn so that way she could help you. Ruby helping you move into your new apartment? All of the weight training so she could even lift a single box of your books was done by me. I wish I was the one that extended their hand to help you, but I know you would just turn it down.

You've been with him for three months now, and Ruby had to call the police and get me help when I threatened to kill myself last night. I saw you kiss him and I couldn't handle myself. I'm breaking Blake.

I'm depressed, I'm suicidal, I'm scared. The doctors prescribed me all these medications but I don't want them. I want you. You're my drug, you're my medicine. Without you I'm sick and frail.

Weiss didn't leave my side today. We were out at the café when you two walked in, and the look he gave me stung. He kissed you in front of me, on purpose, and you kissed him back. Weiss had to drag me out whist in sobs. I'm glad you didn't have to see me shatter.

They're concerned about me, they're begging for me to let go of you. But I can't kitten, I simply can't. Your smile and your laugh haunt my dreams, and I can't get you out. I've cried every night this past week. I think my sanity is almost gone.

I'm not eating anymore. I don't want to eat. I don't deserve to eat. If I don't deserve your love then I don't deserve to eat. I'm sorry I hurt you my darling.

I cut my hair real short, in a fit of panic. I went through an anxiety attack and in the spur of the moment I had them cut it real short. I don't like it. I don't like who I am anymore.

I've stopped crying. I don't think I can cry anymore. I'm a shell of a person now, no more than a statue. Emotionless. Powerless.

You had a conversation with Ruby on the phone today. She was screaming at you, crying at you to talk to me, to bring me back from this void that I've fallen into. I think you said that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I don't know though, I wasn't listening. If you don't want me I don't deserve you.

I've been hallucinating now, it is scary and freaky. The outlines on everything are getting blurry and I'm having trouble focusing on the world around me. I think I want to leave now.

Weiss and Ruby brought me to the hospital again today, and they have me here so that way they can monitor my eating habits and my health. I don't want to eat. I don't want to live. But I'm doing it for them, for you.

Weiss tried to get you to visit me today; I don't know what you said. Apparently I scream in my sleep now, screaming for you. I guess my unconscious mind still hasn't given up. My conscious mind however, has given up everything.

You came in today. I've been emotionless and blank these past few days so I was a whole new person to you. You looked worried, but I know you had to. Your hair was tied up and your makeup was perfect; you're always perfect. You had the necklace that I gave you for our one year anniversary on and it broke my heart to see it around your neck. I still wear mine every day and I never thought I would see the other half of that gold heart with my name engraved in it around your thin neck.

I didn't sleep at all last night. Seeing you without him, with my necklace on, made me confused and happy. Weiss said that you slept in the lobby that night before returning to see me. Again, we didn't speak. All I did was cry.

_**Present:**_

Blake walks through the door slowly, eyes still wide with fear. Her voice when she greets me is strained, and she avoids every incoming phone call that rings. They are all from Sun. She holds my hand like she used to when she sits on the edge of the bed, rubbing my knuckles and singing softly to me. I can't understand the words but I know it is our song. I missed that song.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" She sighs. I've disappointed her; I've failed her. I'm nothing but a wreck. "You make it so hard to be happy with where I'm now."

"I-I'm h-happy for y-you and S-Sun." Almost all of my words are broken stutters that stab my heart with each syllable of lie spoken.

"You aren't Yang, please don't lie to me. You've never lied to me before."

"I know." I whispered, looking up at the blurry beauty still clutching my hand. "Wait, y-you know?"

"Of course. Weiss and Ruby have made it clear to me that you never had anything with Neptune. He even said so to me when I asked him about it, the night Ruby called me crying."

I look at her with my mouth parted slightly, not sure what this meant or why it is important. She is still with and happy with Sun.

"You know you need to eat."

"I don't want to eat." I respond tiredly, shaking my head. "No more eating."

Blake leans in and presses her soft lips to my forehead carefully, squeezing my hand. "I know you want to die but, I don't want you to."

"You're happy with Sun. W-why are you even here?"

"I still love you Yang, I always have. Every inch of my heart will always love you."

I lay there with astonishment on my breaking face, my skin as pale as Weiss' hair and my heart as broken as Ruby was after Summer's passing. Blake lays down beside me and fits herself in my side, resting her fragile head on my chest.

"Every single day of our separation hurts me. But, but it hurts me even more to see you like this. I don't know why I didn't believe you. I don't know why I believed Sun. I don't. I don't and I'm sorry. B-but I can't bare to see you like this. This, empty state. I can't. You need to eat, you need to live your life. You can't break on me."

With shaky hands I cup her face and crash my lips to her, my heart healing in the span of our kiss. I haven't kissed her in so long and I missed this. I missed every single ounce of her. "I love you. I love you I love you I love you Blake Belladonna. With all of my heart and my soul and there is no one in this world that I could be with that would even compare to you. I want no one else besides you. I'm sorry I didn't chase you. I'm sorry! I can't live without you I can't, Blake I need you."

"I need you too Yang. I'm sorry."

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><p>I know it isn't that long but I was just playing with the idea and the topic. Is this something I should continue?<p> 


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